I'm Still Here
by Psychic101
Summary: Based on Johnny Rzeznik's song from Treasure Planet. When I heard the song I thought Henry... and Shawn. REVISED


Hello people yes I used this song in "The Murder of Eddie Parker" but come on it's a good song. It's "I'm Still Here" By Johnny Rzeznik. This song is in Treasure Planet and if you've seen the movie you'll get some things in here. You don't have to have seen the movie to understand you will just see similarities if you have seen the movie.

The **BOLD **is flashbacks

The REGULAR is normal or present time

The _ITALICS _are the song

These lyrics were kind of hard to write a story for so I apologize for any confusion. Hope you guys like it!

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><p><em>I am a question to the world,<em>

_Not an answer to be heard._

_All a moment that's held in your arms._

_And what do you think you'd ever say?_

_I won't listen anyway…_

_You don't know me,_

_And I'll never be what you want me to be._

"You don't even know me!" Shawn yelled at his dad.

"I know you better than anyone!" Henry yelled back. They were in the police station arguing and yelling at each other in front of their co-workers and their boss, not to mention Shawn's wife.

"No! You don't! You don't know me, you never knew me!" Shawn continued to yell.

"What are you talking about? I raised you I know you better then you know yourself!" Henry bellowed.

"No you don't dad!"

"I do Shawn! I know that you skip out on everything and everyone! I know that you don't listen to anyone but your ego!"

"Is that why you hate me! Because I never became what you wanted me to become!" Shawn shouted. "I never became a cop so you hate me! Is that it?" Shawn accused.

_And what do you think you'd understand?_

_I'm a boy, no, I'm a man_

_You can take me and throw me away._

_And how can you learn what's never shown?_

_Yeah, you stand here on your own._

_They don't know me 'cause I'm not here._

"I screwed up your childhood by helping you!" Henry screamed.

"You wouldn't understand! Everyday being trained by your whacko father!"

"Stop acting like a child!" Henry snapped.

"I'm not acting like a child but you treat me as one. You still treat me like a kid newsflash I'm all grown up now." Shawn said walking past his father.

"You're such a disappointment," Henry said and Shawn stopped. By this point the two men had attracted everyone's attention.

"How can you expect me to be something I've never known? You expect me to be this great person! Mom left because of what you did! She left because she couldn't handle you! I left because I wanted nothing to do with you. Now you wonder why you're all alone." Shawn spat.

"Alright that's enough both of you down stairs!" Karen Vick yelled. Shawn and Henry shared a glared before they both stormed down stairs.

"Shawn explain to me what's happing." Karen said softly. Shawn was alone with Karen in the interrogation room.

"No one knows me chief… no one knows the real me because there isn't a real me." Shawn whispered.

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

_And how can the world want me to change,_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_The don't know me_

_'Cause I'm not here._

"What are you talking about Shawn?" Karen questioned.

"From the moment I could walk and talk he was training me." Shawn said.

"Training you to be what?" Juliet asked walking inside. Shawn didn't look up at her.

"A cop. He wanted a perfect son, and he wanted that son to be a cop. He put me through scenarios and he punished me if I failed them." Shawn mumbled. "I've always been Shawn Spencer the son of a cop. The disappointment, I couldn't even get my own mom to stick around." Shawn continued, Juliet sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Everyone wants me to change. They want me to be different when I'm not even me in the first place. I was made to be this way." Shawn whispered to Juliet when Karen left.

"Shawn you can tell me anything," Juliet said and Shawn nodded.

"They want me to be different but why don't they just change?" Shawn mused.

_And you see the things they never see_

_All you wanted, I could be_

_Now you know me, and I'm not afraid_

_And I wanna tell you who I am_

_Can you help me be a man?_

_They can't break me_

_As long as I know who I am_

"Shawn I'm sorry," Henry said walking into the room, sitting across from his son.

"You saw everything that they didn't. You wanted me to be a cop and I could have become one but I didn't…" Shawn looked at his dad.

"Shawn you're wrong. I know you. I know that you care about Juliet and I know you care about other people. I know that you do things that you think is best for everyone. I'm sorry for not acknowledging that." Henry apologized and Shawn nodded.

"Dad you know who I am and I'm not scared anymore. I wanna tell you who I am the real me dad." Shawn expressed. Juliet kissed Shawn's cheek and she left the room, Shawn watched her go. "Can you help me?" Shawn whispered.

"Help you what?"

"Help me be a better man… for Jules," Shawn said and Henry nodded.

"Remember Shawn as long as you know who you are no one can change you." Henry said.

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

_And how can the world want me to change,_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_They can't see me,_

_But I'm still here._

"I want to be someone who I'm not; I want to be that perfect guy that Juliet deserves." Shawn whispered.

"You're already that Shawn," Henry said.

"No I'm not dad. You raised me to be hard, cold and willing. You know I never cry? Because you told me not to, and when Juliet cry's for some reason all I want to do is watch and hold her. I don't know what's like to cry." Shawn looked down "You always asked me to be a perfect example so did mom. But I'm not and I never will be. I'm not going to change myself for this world. If they want a different Shawn Spencer then they can change because I sure as hell ain't." Shawn said and Henry nodded.

"No one sees me dad, but I'm here. I'm right here,"

_They can't tell me who to be,_

_'Cause I'm not what they see._

_And the world is still sleepin',_

_While I keep on dreamin' for me._

_And their words are just whispers_

_And lies that I'll never believe._

Later that night Shawn was sitting in his chair looking out the window as rain began to fall.

"Shawn?" Juliet asked softly getting on her knees in front of him. She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his soft hair.

"They keep telling me what to be." Shawn murmured.

**"Shawn what are you going to be when you grow up?" Henry asked his 4 year old son.**

**"A cop," Shawn answered looking up at his dad.**

**"What kind of cop?" Henry asked.**

**"The best cop. The cop that everyone relies on," Shawn said like he was programed to.**

**"Why?"**

**"Because it's who I am," Shawn told him.**

"But they don't even see me…" Shawn murmured again.

"Shawn look at me," Juliet said softly and Shawn looked at her.

"The world stays the same Jules, but they want me to change. Why? Why me? Why don't they?" Shawn asked looking into her eyes.

"Who's they Shawn?" Juliet questioned.

"Everyone…" Shawn whispered.

**Shawn would dream about becoming a teacher or a lawyer but as soon as he woke up he was cop bound. **

**"Shawn what are you?"**

**"A future cop," 9 year old Shawn said.**

**"Why?"**

**"Because cops are the people who help and save the world." Shawn said.**

"They say they'll leave me alone but they never do," Shawn whispered looking away.

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

_And how can they say I never change_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_I'm the one now,_

_'Cause I'm still here._

"Shawn please don't talk this," Juliet said as tears started to pour down her face. Shawn looked at her and extended his hand. He cupped her cheeks and felt her tears.

"You know I haven't cried since I was 3," Shawn informed her.

"Not possible," Juliet sniffed.

"It's true I was never allowed to cry," Shawn said.

"Why not?" Juliet asked.

"Never had a reason to until I met you," Shawn said letting a few tears escape his eyes. Juliet wiped his tears away and kissed his lips.

"Shawn I hate to ask you of this…" Juliet started.

"What Jules?"

"You are going to have to change just a little." Juliet whispered afraid of his reaction and Shawn looked at her.

"Not you too…" Shawn said looking away.

"Shawn… I'm pregnant. You're going to be a dad; you're going to have to change. To change into you not to whom your dad raised but the real you," Juliet said. "Because you're here Shawn. I see you and I hear you so does your baby," Juliet said taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. Shawn looked at her than at her stomach. Juliet lifted her shirt up so her stomach was exposed, Shawn caressed her belly.

**"What are you going to be Shawn?" Henry asked.**

**"I'm going to be you," Shawn whispered looking up at his dad. Henry ruffled the toddler's hair as he walked inside. Shawn watched the sliding glass door slide shut. He was 5 and he was already turning into a cop**.

_I'm the one_

_'Cause I'm still here._

_I'm still here._

_I'm still here._

_I'm still here._

Shawn looked at the sleeping bundle in his arms. Jim Henry Spencer was fast asleep in his father's arms. Juliet had been asleep but she was watching Shawn hold their son. Shawn had really changed in a good way. He was more open with his feelings and he showed his thoughts more.

"Hey Jimbo," Shawn whispered. Jimmy had brown hair, and green eyes he was everything Shawn.

"Shawn…" Juliet whispered. Shawn turned and walked over to his wife with Jim still fast asleep in his arms. Jim was only 12 hours old and Shawn had already been by his side for most of that time. Shawn placed Jim in Juliet's arms and put his hand on her shoulder.

"See Shawn changing isn't all that bad," Juliet said looking down at her son.

"I know Jules," Shawn whispered looking at his dad as he stood at the door watching.

Shawn was here, and Henry saw that now. Shawn was his own person and no one could change that**.**


End file.
